Prepare the lobsters: Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add the lobsters and cook until cooked through, about 4 minutes per pound.

Transfer the lobster to an ice bath to stop them from cooking further.

Take all the lobster tails and claws off and set aside. Take off the legs. Break the body in half. Take all the meat out of the lobster (save all the shells and make lobster bisque or broth!). Cut all the meat into bite-sized pieces and place into a bowl. Refrigerate until ready to use.

Make the coleslaw: In a large bowl, combine the mayonnaise, lemon juice, celery, pickles, onion, cabbage, lemon zest, and salt and mix well to combine. Refrigerate until ready to use. Don't use this the next day (or do, whatever), but just be aware that because of the onion, the longer this sits, the stronger the taste of the onion will get. If you want to make it ahead of time, add the onion in last minute.

Prepare the lobster roll: Add 3/4 pound of butter to a small skillet over medium heat. Melt butter until a deep golden brown and nutty smelling, about 6 to 8 minutes. Cool completely.

Heat a cast-iron grill pan or skillet over medium-high. Brush the outsides of the buns with the remaining butter and cook, turning once, until golden, about 5 minutes.

To serve the lobster rolls, place a spoonful or so of coleslaw in each bun. Top with a shitload of lobster and drizzle with some of the brown butter. Top with more coleslaw and serve with Old Bay potato chips.